Long-term relationships, especially marriages, often face the challenge of maintaining intimacy. Over time, the excitement and passion may fade, leaving couples to navigate the complexities of routine life. But why exactly do women stop being intimate with their husbands? According to dating expert Dr. Sarah Hensley, there’s one crucial reason that stands out: emotional safety.
The Biggest Reason for Decreased Intimacy
In a viral TikTok video, Dr. Hensley, a dating coach with a Ph.D. in social psychology, shared her professional insight into the main factor behind women losing interest in physical intimacy in long-term relationships. She reveals that the primary reason women stop sleeping with their husbands is because they don’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
A dating expert has revealed the one big reason why women stop sleeping with their husbands. Credit: Adobe Stock
Dr. Hensley explains that emotional safety is fundamental in romantic relationships, particularly for women. When a woman doesn’t feel secure or valued, it affects her attraction to her partner, leading her to withdraw from physical intimacy. This feeling of emotional safety is directly tied to whether a woman’s attachment needs are met in the relationship.
Attachment Needs and Emotional Safety
Dr. Hensley elaborates that attachment needs—the deep, core emotional needs in a relationship—are often unmet when emotional safety is lacking. These needs vary between individuals, but for many women, these needs are essential for feeling emotionally safe with their partners.
- For anxious-preoccupied individuals, the key need is constant love, affection, and reassurance. These women require frequent reminders that they are loved and that the relationship is stable. Without these reassurances, they feel emotionally unsafe, which often leads to a decline in physical intimacy.
- For dismissive-avoidant women, their needs center around space, autonomy, and peace. They need harmony in the relationship without criticism. If these needs aren’t met, they may feel emotionally threatened, which also impacts intimacy.
Emotional Safety: Why It Matters
According to Psychology Today, emotional safety is a crucial element for maintaining a healthy relationship and emotional well-being. It allows individuals to feel accepted and safe enough to be their true selves. This safety is not just important for personal growth but also for fostering deep emotional and physical connections in a romantic partnership.
Without emotional safety, people may feel threatened, isolated, or distressed. As Dr. Hensley points out, when women feel emotionally unsafe, they’re less likely to want to engage in physical intimacy with their partner, making it even harder to maintain a connection.
“The primary reason why women stop having s** with their husbands is because they don’t feel emotionally safe.” Credit: Alamy
Real-Life Examples: What Contributes to Emotional Safety
In the comments section of Dr. Hensley’s viral TikTok, many people shared their own experiences. One commenter mentioned that their ex-partner stopped caring about personal hygiene, which was a major turn-off and contributed to a loss of intimacy. Another person mentioned the feeling of having to “parent” their husband, suggesting that an imbalance in responsibility or emotional support could lead to feelings of neglect, further reducing attraction.
This is a clear reflection of the different needs in a relationship. When these emotional needs are unmet, it’s not just physical intimacy that suffers—emotional connections can deteriorate as well.
Conclusion: Fostering Emotional Safety
Dr. Hensley’s insight provides a fresh perspective on relationship dynamics. While physical attraction is important, the foundation of intimacy lies in the emotional safety that partners create for one another. For women, this means feeling loved, appreciated, and understood. When these needs aren’t met, intimacy can quickly decline.
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To maintain intimacy, couples must prioritize emotional well-being alongside physical connection. By acknowledging and meeting each other’s emotional needs, partners can build a safe and secure environment, fostering both love and intimacy in their relationship.
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